I just want to be normal that’s all I want just to have a normal life with normal people.

There are many occasion when clients who come to see me say they just want to be normal.  Normal!  What’s normal?  The conversation  takes a turn when we start to talk about normal and what normal looks like. It is strange that when we talk  about the concept of normal very few people are able to define something that is  easily understood and therefore not easily attainable.

Often I provoke by suggesting that perhaps they are seeking to be average.  AVERAGE! no, not average. Who would want to be average?

Average is a more accurate definition for normal (the conformance to an average). In some way we could define average as the bulk. The rest being the exception.

There are not many people (at this moment I am unable to think of anyone) who have said that they want to be normal, once they have understood that normal is average.

So what it is that drives people to seek to be normal?  Perhaps this is one of those concepts that is ill defined in our minds and requires a degree of clarification in order to make it possible for our minds to grasp something more tangible and therefore more likely to achieve.

Often what tends to happen when things go a little askew is that we look for stability.  Some kind of normality that will allow us to be back on an even keel. Perhaps when we strive for something that we are unable to accomplish and become frustrated.

A good question to ask ourselves is ‘normal compared to what?’ It might reveal much about our energy levels and drive. Is it that we are tired of doing what we are doing? Is it that we have re-evaluated our way of experiencing life and decided that we are becoming risk averse?

On the other hand, being the exception has a reward and a cost. The reward is that we can become exceptional and rise above the average. It could mean that we fall short and therefore fall short of full-filling our basic needs and wants.

The degree of excitation one experiences in normality may be sufficient for some especially for those seeking to avoid fear. Normal can reduce anxiety

Normal is an OK place to be. It is very acceptable to fit in. We might simply need to clearly define what normal is.  So if you want to be normal, see what you need to change to fit in with the bulk and avoid being and doing anything that redefines you as abnormal/exceptional.

For myself, I know how I want to live my life.