Distortions can be controlled.

Distortion continued. The Tetris example from the previous blog in some ways demonstrates our needs to control the flow of information entering our psyche. If left unchecked it will enter the realms of our validation system in the way that it usualy does. Not a bad thing if we are prone to see our world in a good light at best or indifferent at worst.

You can check this by pausing to see if you are generally happy in your world. If you are you may just need to tweak a few areas that you may be able to get more pleasure from. Altering our perspective allows us to change our experience. It is that simple – at least in theory. In practice it requires us to be  vigilant and attentive to what is happening to us.

For those who use the de Bono tools, the ability to pause and do a PMI or a six hats analysis before deciding on an experience can be very helpful. For the rest, the ability to just slow down and take a second look at a situation may allow enough time to review our predetermined view. Pause and consider what other possible ways there are of seeing something.

For example a young lady who is rarely asked out might think that there is something wrong with her. Usually this takes the form of appearance where she may think that she is unattractive. She is likely to perpetuate this by seeking attention from possible suitors that are not available or of the wrong caliber. The more she does this the more she validates that she is unattractive and unwanted. The probability is that she could even ensure that she finds herself with the wrong company. The cycle of self criticism continues and so the belief that she is unattractive continues. Money and time is invested on a number of visual improvements mostly to no avail. A change of direction is required in terms of how her mind is experiencing relationships.

The information that is being gathered in any exchange is just information. What we do with it determines its effect and impact on our mind. If we are to avoid distorting information (to make it fit with what we recognize) we need to explore what other possible meanings it could be. A person who pays a compliment such as “you look good” can be distorted in a number of ways.

Everything from the tone to the pitch, from the volume to pace all have meaning. We need to seek the best possible interpretation for ourselves. Where it is accepted as a negative we need to review what and how we heard what we heard. At the very least we need to accept that it was said by a person to us and no more than that. Have no opinion. At best we can accept that it was a lovely complement and thank the person for his consideration.

So much is being distorted to satisfy our beliefs that it is prudent to take the time and learn to associate to the good and as best you can disassociate from the not so good. For some people where the damage done in childhood can be deep, it may take some time to make corrections and might require that beliefs are investigated thoroughly. Just keep in mind that distortion is a natural phenomenon and just happens unless you pause the play button and re examine the information in a positive light.

“there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,”
William Shakespeare

Distortion is a two way affair. Just as we distort information, so do others. More to come.